Help: How do I use bike serial numbers and forensic DNA to track a stolen road bike for a cold case?

So I’m trying to pull together a DIY forensic kit to chase down a stolen 2022 Specialized Tarmac SL6 (serial #BTR-0194-2022) that vanished after a night ride in Portland. I’ve read about using bike DNA – the mix of tire rubber residue, sweat stains on the frame, even the unique wear pattern on the Shimano Ultegra 6800 crankset – to match it to a suspect’s gear.

Anyone here actually done this? I’ve got a cheap portable spectrometer (model: SC-3000) and a handheld DNA swab kit (DNAx-12), but I’m missing the know‑how on:

• How to properly extract and preserve the micro‑fibers from the bike’s carbon layup without contaminating the sample?
• What the standard chain‑link imprint analysis looks like – is there a reference chart for Kryptonite U‑Lock model 785 vs 790?
• Best way to cross‑reference the serial number with the local police database without getting a subpoena (I’m not a cop, just a bike‑nerd trying to help a friend who’s been robbed).

I’m also looking for anyone in the forensic community or a private investigative firm who’s willing to take a look at my preliminary data. I can pay for a quick consult – cash, crypto, you name it. Seriously, I’m desperate to turn this into a solid case file because I think the same MO shows up in three other bike thefts this summer (same 28mm seatpost, same 11‑speed SRAM RED eTap).

Any tips, contacts, or even a rant about how the cycling world pretends bike theft isn’t a thing? Let me know – I’m ready to go full CSI on this thing.

Thanks.